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Hip, Dead, Or Naked, People Will Search For You

Honestly, following search trends is like looking into the Mirror of Erides. You could just sit there and go mad from looking at it. Some things stay the same, and some of those same things disappoint you, but invariably you ask who or what or find a new thing that disappoints you. The new thing that disappoints me, to start on a lighter note, are carpet skates. Searches for them have been surging, making SearchEngineGuide's Top 500 keywords of the week. Now, honestly, these things looks blisteringly fun…or I should say carpet-burningly fun, but I'm not ten anymore, I'm 30, which means I like my carpeted areas free of debris and sliding, giggling children that might get in the way of TV-watching or break my lamps, Wal-Mart cheapos or not. You're supposed to send the children outside. Are we preparing for a problem with the sun? Regardless, surging in September means surging the day after Thanksgiving I'd imagine. Games are still at the top of the list, and that's fine, but it's sad to see people are still typing in things like myspace, yahoo, google, youtube, and ebay into the search bar instead of the browser. Google Hot Trends will teach you that people only appreciate you after you die. Ask Pavarotti, whom no one was really looking for until yesterday, and A Wrinkle in Time author Madeleine L'Engle, who's the top gainer there now that she's dead. That is of course unless you're blonde and/or naked. Word was out for all of five minutes that High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens had a, well, stark photograph of her floating around out there and she's now the star of the Internet as searchers, ahem, single-handedly try to find her. Paris and Britney are still high on the Search Engine Guide list, too, which is friggin madness, but both have been beat out by Lauren Caitlin Upton, or as you may know her, Miss Teen South Carolina, who'll have to write and deliver the next Gettysburg Address to live that last speech down. Yahoo's Buzz Log reports that searches for Sabrina Bryan (who?) have leapt by over 24,000 percent since appearing on "Dancing With the Stars." But Yahoo reports a slightly different order among potentially disrobed starlets – it would seem Yahoo searchers are more wishful thinkers. …Read more